Coping with a Loss

Day 6

For me expressing my feelings isn't very easy. Even here on this blog I just feel like sometimes I have avoided talking about subjects that truly matter to me. Sometimes its even hard for me to talk about what I feel with my own family and I just avoid the topic. I am generally happy person and I always try to not let things or others bother me, I just let it slide. My father always says don't give things that don't have importance,too much importance and that's exactly what I do. But sometimes you just can't do that there some things that just hit you and bring you down from this sort of "cloud" of happiness you have created for yourself. One of these things for me was losing my uncle. A couple of years ago my uncle passed away and at first it didn't hit me as much but then I realized how much I really missed him. 

My uncle was a very-hardworking and successful man. I always looked up to him because he achieved a lot of great things. He had this great charm and ability to tell the funniest jokes I have ever heard. He was a always fun person to be around and I always had a great time being around him. His biggest flaw was his extreme devotion to his work. He was a workaholic and sometimes seemed to prioritize his job too much. When he realized it, it was already too late as his condition only got worse. I just wish I would have been able to tell him this before. I am not sure he knew how much I really cared for him and how great I though he was. What makes it even worse is, I don't get to be around my cousin as much as I used to before. You see, my family and his mother's never really got along that well and since his death, I haven't been around my cousin as much. This really bums me as he has always been like a brother to me and we get along really well. Now I only see him every couple of months but I try to call him at least once a week to see how he's doing. 

Not even my mother knows I cared this much for my uncle because I'm not much of a sentimental guy but sometimes we talk about him once in a while. I am working on getting better with expressing my thoughts and feelings but for now I am glad I got this out in the open.